By Andrea Bonior

Special to The Washington Post

Below is an exchange from the relationships advice column, Baggage Check, published weekly in The Washington Post’s Express.

Q: I caught my boyfriend of six months making out with another woman when I arrived at a party. The problem is that he completely denies it. He is not giving an inch, and instead of begging me for forgiveness, he is saying that I didn’t see what I think I did. I can understand him trying to cover his tracks, but I know what I saw. Why is he doing this?

A: I understand you are hurt and need some time, but I think your focus is misguided. The problem, as you see it, is that he denies the incident. But I’d say the problem is that there’s still any sort of relationship-y action going on between you two at all.

You know what you saw. People react in all kinds of ways when they are startled and upset (and ashamed). Whatever made him choose this particular way is less important than the fact that he a) made out with another woman, b) is lying about it, and c) is shifting the blame to you. Those three strikes are enough to send anyone back to the dugout with a hiss of boos, and in my opinion, get ejected from the game — no instant replay needed.

Andrea Bonior, a Washington-area clinical psychologist, writes a weekly relationships advice column in The Washington Post’s Express daily tabloid and is author of “The Friendship Fix.” For more information, see www.drandreabonior.com. You can also follow her on Twitter: @drandreabonior.