What’s worse is that now ordinary people like possibly you are talking about the coming storm, too, so I have to employ my black belt level talent for denial everywhere I go.
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Cold as a what, now?
It’s cold I know it’s cold because EVERY SINGLE TIME I step outside, I declare: “Holy $#!@#! It’s !#@! cold!” That’s the scientific way to know for sure that it’s $#!@#! cold. This is exactly how Lord Kelvin, the physicist William Thompson, discovered in 1892 that it was $#!@#! cold outside his lab over there […]
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Street Talk: Weird scenes inside the new normal
You know you’re in weird times when … a dinner order is conducted like an arms deal.
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town: Your guide to healthy living
Man, this is a rough time of year for writing this column.
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Murder! What the crows are trying to tell us. Probably.
If you see five crows, sickness will follow; see six crows and death will follow. If you see seven crows or more, you probably need to wash your car.
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town: Feed the kitty. Or else.
Avert your eyes! Did you know that in Turner, they have something called a “view tax?” I kid you not, my incredulous friends. I visited a family out there earlier this week and when I commented on their view of the mountains, all white-capped and rolling and whatnot, I was told that they have to […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Winter lies I tell myself
Come late summer, I’m typically sanguine about my chances of finally enjoying winter for a change — enjoying it the way I did when I was a boy and every day was a thrill of sleds and skates and snowballs hucked at the unwary.
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town: Cleaning up my act
Mark LaFlamme got a new washing machine and fancy key fob for his truck. And now he’s seeing life in a whole new way. Except on the passenger side of his truck. Let him explain.
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town: Happy holidays to you and your underpants
Love Lewiston-style An alert reader on Pine Street in Lewiston has stumbled onto a decidedly Lewiston-flavored phenomenon. A man and woman, walking on opposite sides of the street, yelling at each other across the roadway. “Wench! You don’t appreciate me!” “Well, that’s because you’re an unfaithful cur and a layabout besides!” “How DARE you, woman! […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
The power is out. I may have to eat you.
An hour passed in darkness. Then two, then three and clearly this time I was vindicated. It really WAS the end of the world.