Polar vortex is back Oh, look. We’re calling it the “polar vortex” again. Why do you gotta be all fancy about it, weather people? Back in my day, we called that “cold air from Canada.” And we rolled our eyes when we said it, as though the Canadian people were directly responsible for this outrage. […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Caught on camera: Things and stuff!
I was pretty excited the day I got a camera for my car dashboard. “This is going to be great,” I told whomever was sitting in my passenger seat that day. “Street brawls, explosions, naked people doing weird stuff, probably a UFO sighting or two and the Turner Yeti is bound to make an appearance. … […]
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Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Bigfoot, Sizzler and the unfortunate gnu incident
I wish I could just come out and report it: Bigfoot has been spotted running amok and terrorizing town folk in the wilds of Turner. Or possibly Greene. We’re talking about the legendary, hirsute biped out there uprooting trees, slaughtering livestock and eating slow-moving hikers like they were pork rinds. Or possibly Funyuns. I’d like […]
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Mark LaFlamme: The belt, the boot and a dog with no name
In the video, the dog’s eyes gleam in wide-eyed fright as the belt comes down over and over. It is a short clip and not easy to follow. The camera pans from the apparent whipping to piles of poop in and around a Timberland work boot. In the background, a young woman can be heard […]
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Mark LaFlamme: Drunk on Fireball and Pringles
‘All the President’s Men’ Watched this movie the other night and realized I’d never seen it. Odd, right? A story of two reporters working on a story big enough to topple a president? Why the careers of Woodward and Bernstein are very much like my own, with the small exception that I tend to work […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: Are we having fun yet?
Man offers to pimp for undercover cop This still cracks me up. I mean, it’s one thing when you accidentally rear-end a cruiser after leaving a bar – we’ve all been there, right? – but offering to don a big hat, pinky ring and some gold chains for an undercover 5-0? That kind of thing […]
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Mark LaFlamme: Don't they know they have the right to stay silent
We were all pretty enthralled to read about the Buckfield gangsta who led cops on a chase through two counties before trying to dash off running back-style with nearly two kilos of blow. Of course, he’s innocent until proven guilty. But if the information from police and in court affidavits paint the full picture, the […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: Things are looking up
Madness! Remember how I groused about how there was no mad rush at the stores on Christmas Eve? And how I wondered, all sad and confused, about where all the crazy holiday traffic had gone? Yeah, well I found it. I found it on New Year’s Eve in the form of horn-honking rage on the […]
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Mark LaFlamme: Knuckleheads and knuckle sandwiches
Back in the day, as a rule I’d go to every downtown fight I heard about over the police scanner. It’s not that I’m a fan of random violence, mind you. No need to write that angry letter to the editor. I tend to prefer fisticuffs in the boxing ring, on the hockey rink or […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Cash me outside, yo
The diet begins I am saddened to report that Talk of the Town has been placed on a pretty strict length limit of about 425 words. What that means for you, the clearly deranged reader, is that I will no longer be in here going on and on and on about nothing at all. Nope. […]