Man offers to pimp for undercover cop This still cracks me up. I mean, it’s one thing when you accidentally rear-end a cruiser after leaving a bar – we’ve all been there, right? – but offering to don a big hat, pinky ring and some gold chains for an undercover 5-0? That kind of thing […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Don't they know they have the right to stay silent
We were all pretty enthralled to read about the Buckfield gangsta who led cops on a chase through two counties before trying to dash off running back-style with nearly two kilos of blow. Of course, he’s innocent until proven guilty. But if the information from police and in court affidavits paint the full picture, the […]
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Mark LaFlamme: Things are looking up
Madness! Remember how I groused about how there was no mad rush at the stores on Christmas Eve? And how I wondered, all sad and confused, about where all the crazy holiday traffic had gone? Yeah, well I found it. I found it on New Year’s Eve in the form of horn-honking rage on the […]
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Mark LaFlamme: Knuckleheads and knuckle sandwiches
Back in the day, as a rule I’d go to every downtown fight I heard about over the police scanner. It’s not that I’m a fan of random violence, mind you. No need to write that angry letter to the editor. I tend to prefer fisticuffs in the boxing ring, on the hockey rink or […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Cash me outside, yo
The diet begins I am saddened to report that Talk of the Town has been placed on a pretty strict length limit of about 425 words. What that means for you, the clearly deranged reader, is that I will no longer be in here going on and on and on about nothing at all. Nope. […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: It was the night before Christmas and I got nothing
So, I was desperate for column ideas on a Monday afternoon that also happened to be Christmas Eve. No brainer, right? I’d just head to the stores, behold the eye-bulging madness of last-minute shopping and let that column write itself. Maybe it would be a hair-pulling, eye-gouging brawl in the toy aisle over the last […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: Yule be glad I gave you these gift ideas
This gift stinks So on Tuesday – just one week before Christmas – a conveniently timed windstorm sent trash cans bouncing merrily across various neighborhoods in Lewiston and Auburn. For the frantic last minute shopper, this was like a gift from heaven. Merry Christmas, Mom! Here’s a slightly dented Brute brand garbage can with only […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Can we get on with it, already?
“The sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older; shorter of breath and one day closer to death.” Pink Floyd A very wise teacher back in high school once advised me to never wish away time. I found it to be very profound advice, indeed, and I fully intended to plan my […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: Mushroom for improvement
Shrooms A plan is in the works to lure a mushroom factory to Auburn, which city officials promise would make the area the mushroom capital of America. That sounds pretty exciting and all, but to gain that distinction, Auburn is going to have to bare knuckle fight Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, which currently holds that title. […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: What's that song on your lips?
My friends, I am paralyzed by fear while penning these words. The list of things we are not supposed to say keeps growing and now includes a classic Christmas song that is not to be sung, hummed or otherwise referenced, lest ye be branded a woman-hating scoundrel with bad intentions. This one is a bummer […]