When you live the life of high fashion like I do, you get used to being under the knife. A tuck here, a staple there. Something made bigger, something made smaller; something waxed, something peeled, something rejuvenated through weird scalpel sorcery. It’s part of the lifestyle. After a while you barely notice. OK, I’m lying. […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town: Pamela Anderson, in the study, with vegan poison
I cast thee out! I’ve got nothing to say about the election other than when it comes to presidential email spam, Hillary has Trump beat by leaps and bounds. I’m seeing roughly 50 emails a day from the Hillary team as they seek to assure me of her good works. And like spam from B. […]
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Talk of the town: Mired in the Lewiston Spooey
Easy-to-spot sophistication At a recent art show I was sent to cover, a woman, whom I now love intensely, said, “Aren’t you the crime and mayhem reporter? Why in heaven’s name do they have you out here covering arts and culture?” It’s nice when someone gets you. This car climbed Munjoy Hill Saw this bumper […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Please stop staring at my naked brain
It was a sunny Thursday afternoon and Dr. Douglas Henry was looking deeply into my eyes. So deeply, in fact, that he could see the lightning-storm array of blood vessels at the very back of my eyeballs. “Looks like you have a little freckle back there,” he said. A freckle on the back of my […]
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Talk of the town: Smell my pretty flower
I’ll have what he’s having I was sent out the other day for a report of somebody engaging in a sexual act in the area of Luiggi’s Pizzeria in Lewiston. I didn’t find anything up there, but you can understand how this kind of thing would happen. I mean, have you ever HAD a Fergi? […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Waking up is hard to do Part I
I have to be honest with you. When you called me at 1 p.m. the other day and I failed to answer, I wasn’t hard at work and I wasn’t busily running errands like a good boy. I wasn’t across town reading to the sick and infirm and I wasn’t bringing canned goods to elderly […]
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The mystery of Wendell Strout’s missing moustache
Moving violations State Police say they pulled over a guy going 146 mph Wednesday on the turnpike – in a Dodge Neon! I once dated a girl who drove a Neon and that sucker could barely go fast enough to handle the on-ramp, let alone the turnpike itself. The only thing fast about that car […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: The Great Debate
It was just a few hours until the presidential debate and I was excited as a wound-up puppy dog in a room full of legs. The hype had been unreal — it was like Mayweather versus Pacquiao all up in here — if Mayweather had triple-advanced super pneumonia and Pacquiao was a platitude-spouting bored guy […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Little boxes on the hillside
Who ya gonna call? Almost got beat up in the newsroom the other day after announcing to the other reporters that I was never a fan of the original “Ghostbusters.” I know that it’s “a classic,” whatever that means, but I never got the hype. Anyway, I averted that beatdown, but when I added that […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Fight Club, Lewiston style
Many moons ago in downtown Lewiston, I saw a man get into a fight with a trash bag. He was hauling the overstuffed Hefty down Park Street, toward Chestnut, when the bag split and some greasy garbage spilled out. Enraged, the flustered fellow gave the bag a petulant yank which caused more trash to come […]