Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme

Street Talk: There one minute, gone the next

There’s a woman standing at the roadside next to a car with a pretty impressive dent in the front of it. She’s been in a crash, obviously, and she’s distraught about it — the hanging head, the quivering jaw, the eyes welling with tears. I empathize, of course — but it could have been worse. […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

Talk of the town: Don’t talk with your mouth full

Mother jumper Leaving the Dollar Store the other day (shut, I do NOT spend too much time there) I had the opportunity to witness a young boy leaping out from behind a shopping cart to scare his mother. That was funny enough, but his mother’s startled and angry reaction made me laugh so hard, I […]

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Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web

If this means anything to you, seek help

I know this has no bearing on you or your life. It’s just that I’ve been on vacation the past week and I have no idea what’s going on locally. Also, Mila Kunis has been asked to describe Ashton Kutcher’s manhood. If THIS has any bearing on you or your life, seek help. Pow! Got […]

Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme

Street Talk: The dreamscape of youth

On Saturday, I watched a couple groups of kids playing baseball at a mini-Fenway Park in Oakland. For two hours they battled, swatting so many hits and racking up so many runs no existing form of mathematics could possibly calculate the score. You’d need to employ tenth powers, degrees of polynomials and possibly gerunds to […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

Talk of the town: Pokemoaning with delight

New theory A woman was arrested last week and charged with running around naked, stealing a car and, later, shouting at random people while wearing a tank top but no pants. It happened in Lewiston, you know, but not THIS Lewiston. Apparently all the weirdness that used to happen here has migrated to Lewiston, Idaho. […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

Towing the line at the local fireworks displays

Worth a thousand words In the aftermath of the Fourth of July celebrations this year, I saw more photos and videos of cars being hauled away by tow trucks than I did of the fireworks themselves. This is progress! Even the mundane act of car-towing is more interesting than long videos featuring fireworks I saw […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

Talk of the town: Don’t be such an asp

Presumpscot Python Among this Westbrook critter’s many talents, it’s able to generate filthy sounding headlines on media websites across the nation. Go ahead. Try to write a line about this serpent’s exploits that doesn’t sound like the work of a giggling seventh-grader. I dare you. Let’s make some noise I have this weird habit. When […]