Good morning, class. For today’s lesson, we will discuss a basic component of automotive engineering that most people don’t even know is there. It’s called a “turn signal” and is standard equipment in all modern vehicles, both foreign and domestic. The rare and wonderful people who have taken to using this technology lovingly refer to […]

Freeze! Two men were promptly arrested last week after swimming across the Androscoggin River in an attempt to elude police. A few years ago, I suggested that anyone who makes it from one side of the river to the other should be given a free pass based on personal grit alone. Unfortunately, this rule only […]

Sometimes I think I’m too sentimental. The Pink Panther, who watches me sleep night after night, tends to agree. The Pink Panther is a 3-foot-tall stuffed toy I won at Old Orchard Beach when I was 7 or 8 years old. A real space gobbler is the pink one, but what am I going to […]

Whatchamacallit Over the years, there has been much confusion about the title of my weekly columns. It doesn’t help that I have two of them with similar names. It also doesn’t help that most of my readers are heavy drinkers. Among other things, my columns have been mistakenly called Heard on the Street, Word on […]

Just after the American colonists unleashed a formal declaration of independence, a giddy John Adams said this of the coming victory: “I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to […]

The rules are there ain’t no rules I know I made fun of the new traffic configuration on Pine Street in Lewiston a few times, but now that time has passed and I’ve had the opportunity to drive that route, I can honestly say, without reservation, that it’s even worse than I thought. If the […]

Good morning, friends. I came here today to talk to you about a serious matter that affects each and every one of us. Unfortunately, I took a little break first to make a quick trip to the Dollar Store while mulling it over. Three hours and nine plastic bags later, I’m back at home, completely […]

Pinball wizard As you can see in the story to your left (no, your other left) I got down with some pinball recently. When you have pinball on your mind, the great Who song “Pinball Wizard” is sure to follow. This time, I looked up the lyrics. When I was a kid, I thought the […]