It ain’t mine, I swear
So last Sunday night, I got pulled over by police while coming back from a Super Bowl party on outer Sabattus Street in Lewiston. I was perfectly legal and had no contraband in my possession and yet every time those blue lights go on behind me, I have to resist the urge to throw something out of the window. Coffee mug, air freshener, my right boot, it doesn’t matter. When the 5-0 is on you, brother, you’ve got to toss potential evidence out into the night just to stay in the habit. It all worked out in the end, but now I’ll never hear the end of things until I go back and find my wife’s purse.

Jake Moody is one of them!
And speaking of the Super Bowl, who misses that extra point kick? That limp-footed effort completely changed the dynamics of the game. Things like easy kicks gone wrong are why so many people are convinced that the NFL is rigged and that Taylor Swift is secretly running the country via alien technology stashed in Joe Biden’s garage, or whatever the latest theory is.

Snow storm, no storm
How great was it on Monday when, after days of warnings about the next big, bad snow storm to plow into us, the weather forecasters came out and said: “Nope, never mind. The storm shifted to the south so don’t sweat it, y0.” A mid-winter win! It was like Santa, the Easter Bunny and that angel guy from “Highway to Heaven” visited and bestowed blessings upon each of us winter-weary souls. Usually this time of year, it’s the weather version of Nosferatu that comes knocking.

What?
So, that was a weird little rant, wasn’t it? In my defense, I’ve been taking a generic version of Alka Seltzer Plus and I think the stuff might be laced with something hardcore. I gotta go get a few more boxes.

Spring gets a jump start
On Saturday, with 50-degree weather in the air, I took my first ride of 2024 on the dual sport. Felt great. Wind on my face, the thrum of 650 CCs beneath me . . . and then I stopped at a store and my battery died. Turns out you’re supposed to keep the battery topped off when the bike is not in use during the long cold winter. I mean, how I was supposed to know that? I never went to college, you know.

Happy Valentine’s Day
Sorry I never came through with that extravagant present for you. I had it in my possession, I swear, but then a cop pulled up behind me and I had to chuck it out the window. You could try to find it somewhere along Lake Shore Drive but I never poked air holes in the box so I doubt the thing is still alive.

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