Wussified? Last week, there was a call over the police scanner wherein somebody asked for help after stumbling out of a chair and stubbing her toe. A few days later, an ambulance was requested after a woman cut herself shaving whilst in the shower. Soon after, a young lady demanded paramedics because her right pinky […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town: It’s Super Bowl Sunday. Nobody is reading this drivel.
It’s my fault I take full responsibility. Two days before a monster storm roared over us, I stood in my driveway, clearing away a piddling six inches of snow and chatting with my father-in-law. “Been a pretty easy winter,” I said, like a stupid teenager in a horror movie talking about how it’s probably safe […]
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Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: fully inflated and ready to roll
Does this taste funny to you? So, a very nice person sent a tin of Needhams to me at the newsroom. No return address, no hints at all as to the source of the goods. As is often the case, I offered these to a half-dozen people before I found a taker. This isn’t a […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Valentine’s Day Survival Tips for the Romantically Stupid
It’s nearing the middle of frigid February yet the flop sweat of panic soaks your flesh. You’ve been dating a fine lass for six weeks now and, according to the rules of romance, you owe her a Valentine’s Day gift. And not just any Valentine’s gift; it has to be something that sets you apart […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Walking at leisure through the Nanny State
When you get right down to it, I’m pretty hard core. I’m the kind of outlaw Johnny Cash wrote songs about and mothers across the land feared might one day date their daughters. I’m bad, folks. Bad to the bone. I used to walk to school. In elementary school, it was Brookside, to which I […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: A sneak peek inside my drawers
The excitement was unreal. When I was first hired by the Sun Journal back in the olden days of 1994, I went on an extravagant shopping spree. You know: high tech stuff. A Rolodex with colored tabs separating the letters for easy scrolling. A notebook divided into not two, not three, but FOUR sections, so […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town: Cannibals plan sneak attack on Christmas morning. Now with more bunnies.
Dozens of bunnies arrive at shelter When I first read this headline, I pictured long lines of rabbits with hobo bags slung over their shoulders as they made the long march toward a school gymnasium seeking shelter for the night. You know, in the aftermath of some bunny emergency that rousted them from their homes. […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: It isn’t fun and games until someone gets bloody
Rusty was bleeding heavily from a gash on his chin, but we figured the cold winter air would take care of it and, anyway, bloody streaks in the snow only enhanced the realism of the game. The game, in this case, was called “Krauting,” and it was one we engaged in whenever the snowbanks grew […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Street Talk: Hard Times for the First Amendment
“The Founding Fathers gave the free press the protection it must have to bare the secrets of government and inform the people… The press was to serve the governed, not the governors.” – Hugo Black, American politician and jurist. As First Amendment quotes go, this one is a beauty. The amendment itself is beauty, but […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town
HOW ARE YOU TODAY!! There’s a Walmart greeter in Auburn who is so darn jolly, he scares me a little. I’m always in the zone when I walk into the superstore, so when this guy springs out of nowhere like an over-caffeinated ninja dog, demanding that I accept his greeting, I sometimes lose control of […]