I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. Every early evening since the start of summer, I’ve been creeping like a trespasser to a stretch of woods along the Androscoggin River in Lewiston. It’s roughly a two-mile swath of woods and water, and for the better part of the last decade, it’s been my favorite place in […]
Mark LaFlamme
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Street Talk: They say it happens to everybody at some point
It was a typical summer Saturday in every way. I was up at the crack of noon and running around to get stuff done so I could go out and play. A quick stop at Shaw’s, a manly visit to the hardware store, gas at Cumberland Farms. The trouble didn’t begin until I hit Marden’s, […]
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Talk of the town: And the fork ran away with the spoon
Purloined sirloin Police eventually solved the case after conducting a steak-out at the crime scene. Would have been funny if some guy named Chuck was the culprit. You’d have to look into his background to see if he’s committed any udder crimes. But I’m just milking it now. Mooving on. In Soviet Russia, news spin […]
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Street Talk: You gonna eat that, or would you prefer a capsule?
It had been a perfectly ordinary meal with family. The clanking of silverware, the low buzz of conversation, the lame attempts to make the waitress a part of the experience. “My name is Vicki and I’ll be your server.” “Hello, Vicki. My name is Paul and I’ll be your diner.” “Ha! Ha! Ha! I never […]
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Talk of the town: Absolutely nothing of value included here
So, they can forecast these things now? So apparently I was the only person in all of New England who didn’t know that storms were going to pound the region on Wedensday. Went off to an interview on my motorcycle and by the time we were through, it was raining in a Biblical way. I […]
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Street Talk: Important information that might save your life
Good morning, class. For today’s lesson, we will discuss a basic component of automotive engineering that most people don’t even know is there. It’s called a “turn signal” and is standard equipment in all modern vehicles, both foreign and domestic. The rare and wonderful people who have taken to using this technology lovingly refer to […]
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Talk of the town: Fear edition — war, spiders and icy water
Freeze! Two men were promptly arrested last week after swimming across the Androscoggin River in an attempt to elude police. A few years ago, I suggested that anyone who makes it from one side of the river to the other should be given a free pass based on personal grit alone. Unfortunately, this rule only […]
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Street Talk: Don’t throw that junk away; it’s history!
Sometimes I think I’m too sentimental. The Pink Panther, who watches me sleep night after night, tends to agree. The Pink Panther is a 3-foot-tall stuffed toy I won at Old Orchard Beach when I was 7 or 8 years old. A real space gobbler is the pink one, but what am I going to […]
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Talk of the town. Or something.
Whatchamacallit Over the years, there has been much confusion about the title of my weekly columns. It doesn’t help that I have two of them with similar names. It also doesn’t help that most of my readers are heavy drinkers. Among other things, my columns have been mistakenly called Heard on the Street, Word on […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: The rules of Wiffle ball and how to break them
I was driving through one of Lewiston’s many fine neighborhoods one recent afternoon, when I came upon a loud spat — what we used to call a “row” — involving several preteen boys. The tone and wordage of the disagreement revealed at once what they were arguing about: Wiffle ball! In particular, one boy was […]