Bite me Nitrile gloves? Oh, I’ve got nitrile gloves. But this isn’t ebola protection, specifically. I’m wearing the gloves to prevent myself from chewing my fingers right down to the bone during the Major League Baseball playoffs. Which the KC Royals are dominating, in case you haven’t be watching. If I didn’t have those gloves, […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Horton hears a what, now?
I got the music in me So, dashing and muscle-bound photographer Russ Dillingham and I are sitting in a lecture hall at Bates College Wednesday listening to an esteemed professor speak about the dark history of music. We’re talking Wagner here, and Beethoven and the role of music in Nazi Germany. Deep stuff. Heavy stuff. […]
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Street Talk: News-gathering process explained. Teachers, please post.
Oh, boy. It’s that time of year again when perfectly lovely school teachers are asking me to come to their classrooms to talk about the news-gathering process. For the children! Oh, won’t you do it for the children! Frankly, there’s nothing I’d like better than to stand in front of a group of bored, sneering […]
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Talk of the town
Sign your life away It’s that time of year again (I’ve never done this before; don’t be stupid) to go ahead and rate the campaign signs on important things like color, lettering and style. In early polling (which involves me riding around on my bike and sort of looking at things) I’ve got to give […]
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Street Talk: A bleak trip down memory lane, with cats galore
Every now and then, I think about the cat house. It stands in my memory, not as a highlight or a lowlight, but as grim placeholder to be taken down on occasion and re-examined; a reminder and a warning. The facts are these: In the spring of 2011, I was sent off into the woods […]
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Talk of the town: You might want to sit down for this
Rangeley town manager quits after four days I love the scene this sets: “I quit!” “Who the hell are you?” Cutler gets nod on environment from Muskie’s son I like this one, too. Cutler: “So, how about that work I did on the environment?” Muskie’s son nods. Voters urged to reject pot Me, I’d rather […]
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Street Talk: Sundays are vile and don’t try to convince me otherwise.
So, it’s Sunday and life just stinks. It’s not the weather. Why, it’s 80 perfect degrees out there, with a lemon-yellow sun hanging in a perfect blue sky. It’s not for lack of fun. Why, the old gang is gathered in yonder backyard for a weekend barbecue. The smell of sizzling burgers and corn on […]
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Talk of the town
Fashion police The following is a real police call, where a dispatcher was passing along the description of a suspect. It’s mostly a real call, anyway. OK, a very small part of it is. Dispatcher: “Suspect might be wearing white jeans, but it’s possible they’re khaki.” Cop: “Pleated?” Dispatcher: “A very nice box pleat that […]
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Street Talk: I can’t dance on account of that thing I have with my thing
Hello, there. That sure is a pretty dress. Would you care to dance? Psych! I don’t want to dance with you, lovely as you are. Don’t take it personally. If Aphrodite herself swooped down from the mythical realm and tried leading me to the dance floor, I’d shove her into the coat room and run […]
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Talk of the town: Shield your eyes. This gets ugly.
Get your deer yet? Sorry. Just practicing. How long do we have . . . Until some killjoy exclaims, with the enthusiasm of a crow finding dead meat: “Hey! The leaves on that tree are starting to change colors!” Those people . . . I say we stuff corn down their pants and use them […]