Salmon cannon This new technology is being used to suck up fish and spit them out on the other side of a dam so they can spawn and whatnot. Very clever. I’m thinking if we used this same technology to spit commuters back and forth across the Androscoggin River in the Twin Cities, I wouldn’t […]
Mark LaFlamme
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Talk of the town
Quit making me cross What’s with the people who insist on mashing those traffic control buttons at street crossings no matter how much traffic is on the road? I’ve seen people pressing those things with an air of grave impatience at 3 in the morning, like it was noon in Time Square. Jamming those buttons […]
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Street Talk: My Lewiston photo album
When I first moved to Lewiston, I took a lot of photographs. Here’s my first apartment on Nichols Street! Those holes in the walls were there when I got there, mind you. Don’t try charging me for that crap. Here’s my favorite downtown bar! Here’s my first girlfriend, my second girlfriend and a woman who […]
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Talk of the Town: The one where I wear a big hat and fur coat
Bad news The Sun Journal’s dyspeptic sportswriter Randy Whitehouse is leaving. This is a huge blow. I’ve always thought of His Surliness as one of the finest writers the state has to offer, although his brilliance has always been whisper quiet. He’s insightful, he’s funny and he works like a farm mule. Kind of looks […]
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Street Talk: Kissing paradise goodbye
I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. Every early evening since the start of summer, I’ve been creeping like a trespasser to a stretch of woods along the Androscoggin River in Lewiston. It’s roughly a two-mile swath of woods and water, and for the better part of the last decade, it’s been my favorite place in […]
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Street Talk: They say it happens to everybody at some point
It was a typical summer Saturday in every way. I was up at the crack of noon and running around to get stuff done so I could go out and play. A quick stop at Shaw’s, a manly visit to the hardware store, gas at Cumberland Farms. The trouble didn’t begin until I hit Marden’s, […]
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Talk of the town: And the fork ran away with the spoon
Purloined sirloin Police eventually solved the case after conducting a steak-out at the crime scene. Would have been funny if some guy named Chuck was the culprit. You’d have to look into his background to see if he’s committed any udder crimes. But I’m just milking it now. Mooving on. In Soviet Russia, news spin […]
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Street Talk: You gonna eat that, or would you prefer a capsule?
It had been a perfectly ordinary meal with family. The clanking of silverware, the low buzz of conversation, the lame attempts to make the waitress a part of the experience. “My name is Vicki and I’ll be your server.” “Hello, Vicki. My name is Paul and I’ll be your diner.” “Ha! Ha! Ha! I never […]
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Talk of the town: Absolutely nothing of value included here
So, they can forecast these things now? So apparently I was the only person in all of New England who didn’t know that storms were going to pound the region on Wedensday. Went off to an interview on my motorcycle and by the time we were through, it was raining in a Biblical way. I […]
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Street Talk: Important information that might save your life
Good morning, class. For today’s lesson, we will discuss a basic component of automotive engineering that most people don’t even know is there. It’s called a “turn signal” and is standard equipment in all modern vehicles, both foreign and domestic. The rare and wonderful people who have taken to using this technology lovingly refer to […]