The Good Ship Lollipop Shirley Temple has died. This bums me out for reasons I can’t exactly pin down. It’s not that I was a huge fan of her films (as far as you know), although I often find myself singing the “Animal Crackers” song for reasons that are likewise unclear. Maybe it’s simply the […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: Notebook orphans (“The smells!”) fail to jog memory
Some days, I want to put together a piece of writing so powerful it will change lives and open minds in this increasingly contentious world. I want to help. I want to be part of humanity’s slow crawl from the swamps of suffering. Other days, I just want to list the funny things I find […]
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Talk of the town: Squeal like a pig
Mailing it in So, I was trying to pull out of a parking lot onto Ash Street Wednesday at the height of the snowstorm. Problem was, I hadn’t taken the time to brush off the right side of my car because – well, come on. It was way over there on the other side. Unable […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: Get that soup away from me! I’m not sick!
Quick. Somebody cough on me. I need to catch the flu, quick. There’s big money to be made, and brother, I want in. The National Institute of Health is looking for people to spend nine days in quarantine so their flu symptoms can be studied. The prize: three thousand bucks. If you can’t muster a […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: All the news you need. PERIOD!
Balcony seats A New York congressman threatened to throw a reporter off a balcony after a post-State of the Union address that was hilariously captured on video. And here I thought it was perfectly normal for public officials to threaten reporters. The big meanies. I’ve been getting threats almost daily for 20 years now, but […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: I’m gonna go get the papers, get the papers
Dear diary: OMG! I met a very special lady today! Her name is Ruth, she’s 104 years young and she’s the person who still reads the newspaper! Never even seen the Internet, she said. Each morning, she spreads the newspaper out on her kitchen table and reads Dear Abby aloud to her parakeets. Then she […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Zombies, shrinkage and Bieber
Mayor vs. Mayor Every time I read about the latest caterwauling between former Mayor Larry Gilbert and present Mayor Robert Macdonald (wait, did I get that right?), the image that immediately comes to mind is the old Spy vs. Spy cartoon from Mad Magazine (or was it Cracked?). In fact, to keep this love fest […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: The joy of sledding: Weeeeeeeeeeeeee. THUD!
Ah, the sounds of winter recreation. Cold steel skate blades carving up the frozen ponds. The hearty crunch of snowshoes breaking through virgin snow. And my personal favorite, the sounds of kids on sleds streaking down the steepest hills the area has to offer. Weeeeeeeeee! THUD! “He’s hurt bad! Everybody run!” Where I come from, […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Godzilla!
Devil baby In New York, several sidewalk denizens experienced moments of unalloyed terror after pranksters rigged a horrifying devil baby to spring up out of its carriage. Great fun, if you’re into cardiac events and soiled underpants. What I don’t get is how the victims of the devil baby realized so quickly that it was […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: fun and frostbite with the polar vortex
I blame the Almanac As far as I can tell, the Farmers’ Almanac was the first to predict all the snow and cold we’ve been vexed with and, therefore, I hold them directly responsible for the misery. You may question my logic if you’d like, but anybody familiar with the law of “he who smelt […]