Madness! Remember how I groused about how there was no mad rush at the stores on Christmas Eve? And how I wondered, all sad and confused, about where all the crazy holiday traffic had gone? Yeah, well I found it. I found it on New Year’s Eve in the form of horn-honking rage on the […]
talk of the town
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Cash me outside, yo
The diet begins I am saddened to report that Talk of the Town has been placed on a pretty strict length limit of about 425 words. What that means for you, the clearly deranged reader, is that I will no longer be in here going on and on and on about nothing at all. Nope. […]
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Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: Yule be glad I gave you these gift ideas
This gift stinks So on Tuesday – just one week before Christmas – a conveniently timed windstorm sent trash cans bouncing merrily across various neighborhoods in Lewiston and Auburn. For the frantic last minute shopper, this was like a gift from heaven. Merry Christmas, Mom! Here’s a slightly dented Brute brand garbage can with only […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark Laflamme: A heart full of unwashed socks
Fight for your right to nude up While advising a police officer out on a routine call at the start of the week, an emergency dispatcher passed along that the homeowner “believes it’s her right to answer her door unclothed.” She’s right, too. Why, the Second Amendment alone addresses “bare arms” and I think if […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Nope. Nothing wrong here.
Talk of the town? How in blue blazes should I know what the talk of the town is? I’ve been on vacation for two weeks. Thanks for noticing. All I can tell you is that the new “Halloween” is just God awful, the movie “Hereditary” is terrifying and the town of Unity celebrates Halloween like […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Is it Halloween yet?
Things that baffle me I’m just going to go ahead and say it. What’s the deal with individually wrapped coffee stirrers? This weird wave of stirrer prophylactics has taken hold at stores and coffee shops everywhere. I mean, I understand the concept of safe-stirring and all, but in the history of coffee, has anyone ever […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: It was a night just like this
Cider house ghouls A storytelling cemetery walk in North Yarmouth advertises “cider, doughnuts and opening of the vault!” Can you say, yoinks! I can only guess what’s in the vault – the door of which will no doubt swing open with a chilling ‘creeeeeeee’ sound – but I’m going to go out on a limb […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: The clock strikes thirteen
Important underpants news I regret to inform you that I will be retiring last year’s union suit, bought at Tractor Supply and worn with great pride and stinkiness throughout the winter season. It has been replaced with a Merino wool base layer that, while less stylish than the bright red union suit, should offer greater […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Your Yankee Doodle Dandy in a gold Rolls Royce
Campaign season hell As a sort of reporter, I get put on to all kinds of lists so I get mail from every political candidate from one end of the state to the other. It’s a real joy, especially during campaign season. You think campaign signs are a blight? You ought to see my email […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
This aisle for 10 items or less
Wallingford’s summertime death machine Some heartless wife I know tricked me into going to Wallingford’s last weekend and managed to crush both my spirit and my heart. Wallingford’s is a fine place and all, but I associate the joint with fall and all things autumnal. Being there on a hot summer day just felt wrong. […]