Where the wild things are So at the suggestion of many of you yahoos, I went out the other day in search of the mighty multi-colored zebra that was being painted on the side of a downtown Lewiston parking garage. Unfortunately, when I started this safari, I didn’t bother to ask for a location. You […]
talk of the town
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: How would you like your eggs?
A meteorological Tilt-A-Whirl Why is it raining so much lately? Oh. Right. Smokey’s Greater Shows has come to Auburn. I’m pretty sure smart farmers plan their gardens around this carnival. Whenever it appears, you can count on a week straight of rain. Yule think I’m crazy So, I was called out by a Hannaford clerk […]
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Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: Don't harsh my mellow
Flute Choir Ends Oasis Season This headline ran on Tuesday. I can’t stop looking at it. It soothes me. Portland Pie Company is coming!!!! Holy moly! People got leg-humping happy about this news. Portland Pie Company is one of those places that my wife tells me I love even though I have no clear recollection […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: Feed your head
Dude, vote for me At the Democratic State Convention last week, I ran into a nice lady in the parking lot who claimed to be running for one office or the other on the hemp platform. In fact, she had ground up her platform, sprinkled it into paper and twisted it into the fattest and […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: What happens on the Tilt-a-Whirl stays on the Tilt-a-Whirl
Bring an umbrella Well, well. It appears that a giant Elvis Presley balloon will be floating over the Twin Cities come August. You know the kind of effect Presley has on the older ladies. It will be fun to watch them fling their undergarments at The King when he’s 500 feet overhead. It’s gonna be […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
How about some sympathy for the column writer?
Red faced Got a message from a nice lady who enjoyed my Wednesday column “Sympathy for the Dope Sick.” Such gushing praise. It went like this: “I usually can’t even make it halfway through your columns. They’re silly, stupid and they don’t make any sense. Not good. But this one was.” Aww. I’m blushing. You […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
The runaway hair and other capers
Tell it like it is Heard a police call the other night during which some downtown ne’er-do-well was reported to be acting strangely in the narrow dark between tenement buildings. The first cop to arrive in the area totally dispensed with the legal mumbo jumbo and tedious 10 codes and reported that the shady suspect […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
We're going to need a bigger boat
April showers The last time I complained about dreary, wet, gloomy, lousy, rotten, vaguely fish-smelling April weather, the day the column ran it was sunny bright and T-shirt warm. Clearly, I have powers you mortals can’t even comprehend. You don’t even know, man. So in hopes of sparking another warm, sunny weekend for us all, […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Say it like you mean it
He went that-a-way A police foot chase one recent night came to an end right next to the Wendy’s drive-through window on Center Street in Auburn. See? This is exactly why, if I was a crook, I’d keep a red-headed pigtail wig and some fake freckles as a disguise. As it turns out, I already […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Hits from the '70s
Lights out The previous weekend was marked by repeated and sustained power outages across large sections of Lewiston. I should point out that in the case of an electrical outage, a battery-powered toilet light faithfully remains working, saving God only knows how many people from accidentally doing their business in bathtubs and sinks. Not to […]