I’m so excited, I might faint at any moment. Soon — not today, not tomorrow and probably not at all in the month of May — it’s going to be sunny and warm again. Not just warm: hot! The kind of hot where even your tongue is sweating and everywhere you turn, you find someone […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: OMG! Ice out on Lake Auburn! OMG! OMG!
An important note on ants You will see that I have nothing but admiration for ants, and would like to vacation someday in one of their many fine colonies. That said, though, it’s important for me to point out that I want absolutely nothing to do with their form of government (or governmANT, if you […]
advertisement
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Assassins! Plus weather stuff.
Loony eclipse When the time finally came, 2 a.m. EST Tuesday morning, I was so incensed that clouds had moved in to hide the eclipse of the moon, I swore at the sky until I lost my voice. It was as though Maine herself was saying to us all: “So, you had a rough winter […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump
Hey, you. Got a truck, or access to a truck? Nope. Dude ain’t got no truck. What about you? Got a truck? A trailer? Cargo van? Nope. Nothing of the sort. Times are hard. So, I’m downtown asking questions again. It turns out there aren’t a lot of people out there who have access to […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Piers Morgan! And a vulture.
Marriage fraud Has been the focus of several headlines lately and thank God this didn’t come into play 11 years ago when I took my own vows. Although. Now that I think of it, what I was accused of was more Honeymoon Fraud than anything else. Happens to all guys. Pine and Bates Mysteriously, the […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Eyes open for firebug in downtown Lewiston
Once again, the black stink of fire lies across Lewiston. Once again, media have come from all over. And on Thursday afternoon, they assembled like a flock of strange birds in front of a burned-out building, waiting for men of authority to provide some answers. “Chief, the residents are telling us that they feel very […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Zero tolerance, zero sanity
Dear God. I didn’t say anything when the kid was punished for chewing his Pop-Tart into the shape of a grape-flavored gun. I didn’t write a word when another kid in another school was disciplined for pointing his finger at a classmate. But this? Pencil twirling? Now the acrobatic display of a writing utensil is […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Spring gushing between your toes and crawling into your hair
Ah, spring. That magical time when a young man’s fancy turns to hula hoops. And Slinky, and those little canisters that make barnyard noises when you flip them over. At least that’s what my fancy turns to. Your fancy may vary. On Thursday, April 3, I pulled my motorcycle helmet onto my head only to […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town, live from New York
Talk of the town It’s kind of a challenge this time around since I spent most of the week in New York. I can tell you that the talk of the town in that city was mostly “You wanna buy a watch?” “You wanna buy some shoes?” “I’m a struggling rap artist, would you like […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Ants! And other matters of grave importance
He who shall not be named A new group has emerged on Facebook to track the comings and goings of our celebrated Magic Man, who has been spotted in Lewiston, Auburn and Portland this winter all at the same time. That’s why he’s magic, see? The Facebook page can be found with just a quick […]