How does my garden grow? Writing about local gardens all last week, I sure learned a lot about vegetables and flowers and possibly chickens. Mostly, though, the experience helped me to finally conquer a lifelong fear of string beans and for that I’m grateful. Maybe now the nightmares will stop. Time flies. Or doesn’t. It’s […]
talk of the town
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Maybe the Roomba is making 911 calls from the future
The Roomba made me do it Somewhere in Lewiston, or possibly Auburn, last week, police went to a home after receiving a 911 call with nobody on the line. According to the man who lives at the home, it was his robot floor sweeper that sent out the call. I don’t know the technical ins […]
advertisement
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: What did I miss?
Home alone So, I’m just back from vacation and looking around, it doesn’t look like I missed much. You know, just the standard summertime fare: A stabbing at McDonald’s, a stabbing in Kennedy Park, a massive manhunt in some place called Wilton, a fatal shark attack and a hurricane, for starters. And here I thought […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Have you been working out?
Let’s get physical In downtown Lewiston one recent night, somebody called police to report some guy doing push ups in the middle of the road. Whenever I hear reports like this, I find myself wondering if the caller is using a euphemism. Like, maybe he’s saying, “Yeah, the guy is out there doing ‘push-ups in […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: So, what are you wearing?
Tarantulas seized from Norway motel I have just received information that William Shatner is shaken but otherwise safe after the ordeal. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you need to go back to the ’70s and watch more “Creature Features.” The most wonderful time of the year? Meanwhile, in downtown Lewiston, a […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Surly reporter ready to put on pants
Spot of teeeeea? I tell you people, I’ve been misunderstood about the matter of my shameful foray into tea drinking, as I described in a recent column. In one recent letter, received on Monday, the writer commiserates on the miseries of “refraining from coffee,” and goes on to write, “you mustn’t be despondent, dear one.” […]
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Party like it’s 2019
Parks and playgrounds reopening That’s a relief. This whole lockdown business has been particularly difficult for skateboarders. While the parks were closed, they had to resort to beating themselves with bricks, flinging themselves down stairways and running into trailer hitches to maintain the lifestyle of skinned knees, bashed elbows, pounded shins, jolted chins and the […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Out and about in your under things
Hooking me up with some fine CGC Gosh, you people. All I did was complain that it was hard to find chocolate graham crackers in these weird, difficult times and you people came out of the woodwork like a merry band of Keebler elves. Some of you wrote to relate where I could find — […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Y’all stop licking things
My embarrassing friend So, I have this buddy who’s soooo lame, he let his wife talk him into watching “Outlander” with her. Ha! Loser! I mean, we’re talking about a classic bodice ripper that’s only thinly veiled as a period drama with some murky time travel and an occasional sword fight. This is a show […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Love is in the air — along with a whole lot of crazy
Spring forward Some wizard of math and astronomical calculations just alerted me that daylight savings is less than a month away. We are that close to springing forward, my friends, and ain’t that an injection of hope in the buttocks of winter despair! What does it all mean? Nothing, really? I just wanted to use […]